Respondez, sil vous plait! Managing your guestlist without losing your mind


So, you’ve spent 18 months planning your perfect wedding day, sent save-the-dates a year ago, posted beautifully designed wedding invitations 8 weeks before the big day. Now it’s 3 weeks to go, a week past the deadline, and you’re still missing half the replies. The venue are on the phone looking for an update on numbers…and you’re nervously checking the mailbox every morning. Some guests, no matter how hard you try, how easy you make it for them, just don’t get it! They assume you know they’re coming and the reply card is stuffed at the bottom of a pile of phonebooks and bills. This is a quick guide to managing your replies without going gaga.

Set a fake deadline – you need final numbers two weeks before the wedding? On your invitation, put the date as another 2 or 3 weeks before that. At least this will give you extra time to chase people’s responses before you have to panic. It also gives you plenty of time to get your table plan worked out.


Give them a number of ways to reply – even a stamped, addressed reply card doesn’t always make it back to the sender. For some people, the effort of getting it to a postbox is just too difficult! Give your guests the option to reply by text or email too, or if you have a wedding website, you may have the facility to respond via this.

black rsvp

Get your family on the case – often, it’s the friends, neighbours or relatives of your parents that are slowest to reply. Once your deadline has passed, give your parents a list of any of their ‘crew’ that hasn’t replied yet, and leave it up to them to get the answer.

Phone or Email – try to ensure you have a phone number of email address for everyone you’ve invited (see above, parents!) so that you can follow up with them once the reply deadline has passed.

Finally, if you’re struggling to finalise your guestlist, manage invitations or decide on a design, a wedding planner may be for you! Contact True Romance Weddings to find out how we can help you to remain stress-free!


  1. agree with the previous post Courtney-Alpha Prosperity Events
    even with all these methods, you are going to have a few who assume that a seat has been secured for them regardless…

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